


It Feels Like I'm Broken

by Julia_Writes



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Archie is constantly clueless and he's none the wiser by the end soz, Asexual Character, Internalized Acephobia, It's not exactly happy, There is zero fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 08:03:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9594854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Writes/pseuds/Julia_Writes
Summary: Jughead's rekindling friendship with Archie isn't the bed of roses he'd hoped it would be.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING - Jug doesn't know about asexuality and feels pretty angry about how he feels. He expresses that and if you don't like reading about someone invalidating asexuality, don't read it xxx

            There was a time when he could talk to Archie about everything. From homework to parents to dreams to nightmares, they’d shared everything since either of them could remember. It was more than a friendship. Archie would regularly swing ‘round to Jug’s house on a whim and, if Jug wasn’t there, he’d hang out with Jug’s mom and wait. Fred knew Jug well enough that simply offering him a pop-tart and leaving him to his own devices was enough. They had slotted in to each other’s families. But one summer can change everything.

 

            It started slowly. Once a week, a plan was canceled or moved. Jug ignored the ache that shot through him whenever Archie casually threw away a plan. After the fourth of July weekend, it slipped faster and faster until, suddenly, Jug found himself spending every single day of the last few weeks of summer completely alone.

 

            When Archie approached him at Pop’s, Jug hid how giddy it made him, how his chest felt like it was fluttering when Archie grinned. He hid it all behind is usual wall of sarcastic comments and snide remarks. But he felt like he was soaring. He tried to ignore the crash back down to earth when he saw Archie and Grundy through that window. When he confronted Archie, he tried to stay as calm as he could, but the thought of that woman taking advantage of the most important person in his life made him see red. In school, he took to avoiding her classroom, just to avoid the temptation to confront her himself. Archie would never trust him again if he did something now. Instead, he tried to support Archie however he could. But the initial giddiness of their rekindled friendship had too soon given away to secrets and lies and stress.

 

            He couldn’t really use the tree-house to be alone anymore. Not when he had always promised that Archie would always be welcome there. So he found a different place. A secluded little bench in the local park, hidden on the old path that had long been covered by bushes and trees. No one ever used it, with this path prone to flooding from the river. So Jug began to spend most of him time there – after school until well in to the night, on the weekends, when he knew that Archie would be occupying their usual table in Pop’s with Veronica, or Betty, or both. It was sheltered enough that he could use his laptop and not have to deal with the glare from the sun. When it rained, however, it still managed to leak through, so Jug usually spent those days sat directly under the tree, it’s trunk shielding him just enough to let him read his books.

 

            At school, he was often regarded as emotionless. Creepy, monotonous and a loner, someone to laugh at and otherwise ignore. Jug liked it like that but, in his secret little hideout, he didn’t have to be that. Crying seemed pathetic when people could see, but alone, he could pretend it wasn’t actually happening. Until, of course, someone catches him.

“For all of Archie’s flaws, he definitely seems to have a ton of admirers.” Jug’s head shot up. Betty, of all people, was standing next to his bench, still dressed in her new uniform.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jug managed to spit out, hastily rubbing the tears away. Betty sat down next to him.

“I’ve been worried about you, Jug,” she said, not looking nearly sheepish enough for what she was admitting.

“So you followed me here?” he almost yelled. “We’re not fucking friends, Betty, that’s beyond creepy.”

“We were friends before I left for my internship,” she argued.

“By default.”

“Just because we met through Archie doesn’t mean we weren’t actually friends, Jug,” Betty said. “But then you and Archie managed to mess up your entire friendship as soon as I left, and you haven’t spoken to me since. And I’m worried about you.”

“So you followed me.”

“I know what it’s like, Jug,” Betty said, clearly ignoring his accusation. “He’s a pretty easy guy to fall for.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about-” Betty shushed him.

“Actually, as the number one expert of crushing on Archie, I do.” Jug glared at her.

“What the fuck makes you think I have a crush on Archie?” He asked.

“I know you better than you think, Jughead. We’ve known each other practically our whole lives. I can tell when you’re putting on an act, like you are around Archie.” Betty looked almost smug.

“You have no fucking idea how I feel, Betty.” Jug snapped. “I don’t have a normal crush on Archie. I’ve read the books. All the signs are there. The stupid fluttery chest and sweaty palms. Except one little problem. I’m some abnormal freak who doesn’t want to have sex with the person he’s crushing on. Every single stupid crush I’ve had, it’s like pointlessly overactive friendship feelings, because I’m some broken freak who doesn’t want to have sex.” Jug blinked, shocked at himself for the outburst. He’d never spoken to anyone about this, never expected to. And yet here he was, nearly crying at Betty, of all people.

“That’s not broken, Jug,” Betty said softly, reaching out and putting her hand on his leg. “Sexuality is a spectrum, you know? Kevin’s told me all about it. Some people are gay or straight, but there’s bisexual, pansexual, asexual, loads of them.” Jug stayed silent. “He lent me a whole book on them – I’ll lend it to you, ok? Give it a read, try it out.” She leaned over, pulling him in to a quick hug, before standing up.

“You know, just because you can’t talk to Archie about something, doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. I’m always here for you.”

 

            Hours later, when Jug finally went home, he shot Betty a text.

“Thanks, Betty”.

**Author's Note:**

> At a party a few years ago, I suddenly freaked out about my identity and my poor friend had to spend the evening helping me come to the realisation that I'm asexual - Jughead, I can relate to your struggles here, babe x
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!!


End file.
